Early spring 2008. You're in London, you're bored, and you've time on your hands. The logical solution to this problem is to visit the boating lake in Regents park, accompanied by a grumpy old boozer who really doesn't want to go anywhere (in the world). When we arrive, dad obviously complains about the price of hiring a rowing boat. I'd like to use the word 'extortionate' but that's definitely not how he described it. We finally make it out on the water, the glorious serene water! A life aquatic for sure. Now as men (or a man and a man-boy) we certainly did not decide to think logically about how best to row a boat without sinking. Nor did we think to look at fellow boats and would-be-sailors to steal their rowing secrets. So as you can imagine it took us at least one lap of the island to work out a system. The system involved the two of us sitting side by side and rowing merrily, one oar each. The perfect scene right? Well.. after a few minutes the serenity of the water and the nice weather simply weren't satisfying our hunger for experience. What was left to do, except try to go as fast as possible and streak past family filled peddle-swans like boat-boy racers? We were definitely the prime alpha of all rowing boats (ever). And the prime alpha of anything takes challenges from other males very seriously. So you can imagine that when we came across a fellow father and son rowing duo, we were ready for war. Ignoring the fact that we were due off the lake in 4 minutes anyway, we made it our duty to see off these newbies. A task of honour, and you can bet they were up to the challenge. Our boats were neck and neck half way around the island, and as we navigated our way through a maze of peddle swans, our two competetors became entangled in low hanging branches. Success. Yes, all the budding female rowing boats in the lake were ours for the taking. Those ginger tree-huggers fell far behind and the glory of the alpha tinted our eyes once more. However, as we celebrated rye cheers, and cantered along cockily - all was not well on the waterfront. Time slowed. Everything moved in slow motion. My father's gleeful face, gleaming with pride. The increasing shallows of the water, and the fast approaching beach of the central island. A Low hanging willow tree swooped down and placed a twig precisely between the arm of Lorcan's glasses and his grey sideburn. As the momentum of the water carried our boat further on, the glasses slid from his face and hung momentarily in the thick air. Before dropping down, into the depths of the murkey water. All was silent. A moment that felt like a lifetime drifted past as we both tried to intake this information. Shock spread across our faces. How could that..? What are the chances..? Did that just...? And then as he looked at me, I saw the corners of his mouth twitch and we both burst out laughing. To this day i'm not sure whether I was laughing at him or with him. For a minute or so this avalanche of comedy had us hitting the deck of our boat, before anger and realisation prevailed. Now, those of you who knew my dad well, knew how fast his moods could change. His emotional outbursts could be compared to the unpredictable weather of the sahara desert! I really thought his head might just explode. The confusion of emotions going on inside his head was making him squeel with uncertainty. I'd like to say that he saw the funny side of it for the rest of the day, but after discovering that the restaurant man he spoke to after had nothing to do with the boat hire, and that there was no such thing as "glasses lost in lake insurance", he proceeded to be a grumpy so and so for the remainder of the day. However, i'm not sure i've ever seen anything funnier (ever).